For anyone under 30, that might be impossible…but for anyone who’s been alive since the 80′s (or longer), a koozie occupies a strange little spot in our brains. Back before glass bottles became the de-facto beer container, cans were king. Plus, we used to live in a world where not every inch of indoor space was air-conditioned (and *gasp* people actually spent time outside!). Because of these factors, many beer drinkers fought a never-ending battle against warm beer — a battle that resulted in the invention of the mighty Koozie, an insulation device created especially for the prevention of room-temperature suds.
There was a time, not long ago, that koozies had fallen into the realm of being dismissed as a white-trash accessory — something your redneck uncle Carl used to hold his can of Busch. But, like many things once shunned or considered passe, the koozie has been championed by hipsters everywhere. And with the triumphant return of aluminum cans as the ideal vessel for craft beer, koozies are now not only fashionable, but also a viable product for anyone wishing to avoid piss-warm ale.
With this resurgence has come a tidal wave of custom koozies for any conceivable niche:
What’s more, now anyone can design a koozie to match whatever other strange ideas that might be floating around their booze-addled brains: Here’s a custom beer koozies site where you can create the koozie of your deranged dreams. With tools akin to a miniature Photoshop suite, you can now have that Justin Bieber koozie you always dreamed about, you sick bastard.
Also, there seem to be more applications for the beloved koozie than mere beverage cooling…you can also utilize them for subterfuge!
Perfect for the family reunion, pee-wee football games and anywhere else where drinking a beer might make you look like a degenerate!
The bottom line is, here in Colorado you practically are required to own one of these retro insulation devices if you are out climbing a 14′er or just milling about your backyard staring at prairie dogs, so this is one of those rare occasions where you can thank a hipster for actually contributing something of value to society.